Leaving the home I love…


Once I was happily content to be

As I was, where I was
Close to the people who are close to me
Here in the home I love
Who could see that a man would come
Who would change the shape of my dreams
Helpless, now, I stand with him
Watching older dreams grow dimClosing my heart to every hope but his
Leaving the home I love

-by Bock and Harnock, from “Fiddler on the Roof”

This afternoon I went out and sat on the front porch step to watch the sun set. As I listened to the birds sing an evening song, I looked around at the daffodils, the green grass, the ever-changing yet ever-present beauty of the place I live. It’s starting to seem more real that I’m leaving all this I’ve grown up with–my family, my home, my church family. I’m leaving all I’ve ever known, to go to all I’ve ever dreamed of–a cozy little home nestled in rolling farmland, a wonderful new family, and my own dear husband to love.I’m glad my parents are staying here, so we can come back to visit. I will show my children where I grew up, introduce them to the dear old people at church (if they haven’t already gone ahead of us to Heaven), and Merritt and I will walk again down the same little path we walked together the first day of our courtship.

I have a lifetime of memories here–in fact, my family has moved only once, and that was just across the field. But Lord willing, I have a lifetime of memories to make with my man.

Far outweighing any melancholy at leaving is the thought of my new home with my love. And if my “home is where the heart is,” then my home has been in those rolling hills ever since Merritt moved there six years ago…

There where my heart has settled long ago
I must go, I must go

Who could imagine I’d be wand’ring so
Far from the home I love

Yet, there with my love, I’m home

-by Bock and Harnock, from “Fiddler on the Roof”

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18 Comments

  1. I love going home to Oregon and seeing my family and all of the familar landmarks, but I’ve found in the years since marriage, that it is no longer “home”. And I never imagined not feeling at home there… but it’s true. Home is wherever Matt is, and I always give a little sigh of relief and relaxation when we come home to Chicago to our little apartment. 🙂

  2. 🙂 I, too, have visited this site over the years, and been so encouraged as I read others’ courtship stories… I’m happy for you & Merrit, and thrilled to see God’s faithfulness, yet again 🙂
    Praying for you all as you continue with preparations!

  3. well, i’m from australia and i would dearly love to know WHERE in the states it is you will be living… 🙂

  4. What a hansome man Gretchen! I am so happy for you both!
    The Lord bless you richly…
    A Sister in Christ,
    Dillon Anne, Western Washington State

  5. Thanks for sharing this, Gretchen. It’s comforting to know that I am not alone the in the melancholy I feel while preparing to leave my childhood home for a home with my own dear wonderful man. As Ashleigh said, it truly is bittersweet. But isn’t it exciting? Despite all the packing and planning and preparation that this short season involves, the thought of being my beloved’s little wifey and building a home together is so thrilling. 🙂 Wyatt and I won’t be moving to our own house, or rolling hills, but we will have the ocean within a quarter mile from our apartment and beautiful mountains several miles in the other direction. I know you’ll make such a wonderful bride for Merritt, and he sounds absolutely perfect for you. God is so good!

    P.S. Thanks for sharing the lyrics. How fitting they are!

  6. Thank you Gretchen for the post!

    It’s so encouraging to see God’s perfect plan worked out in the lives of others!!

    I wish the best for you and Merritt! Thank you both for holding His standards high in your lives and keeping Christ first!

    May He always be your guide, as you begin your lives together! God Bless!!

  7. Gretchen it’s so beautiful! Both the words and the pic! I look foreward to reading your story! Blessings!

    Merissa
    (Alberta, Canada)

  8. That’s beautiful Gretchen. It’s been great reading your inspiring posts over the years and I’m happy that your dreams are becoming reality.

  9. How well I remember the days before our wedding, when “bittersweet” became the keyword around our home. 🙂 We were all so excited for the wedding, our marriage beginning, and the home my beloved and I would be beginning together. But, still, there were the days that our eyes would fill at the thought of me not being there every morning, not getting in bed and waiting for my dad to come pray with me every night, not eating dinner with my family, not having the day-in-day-out interaction with them. It is a transition… and one that cannot be fully realized until you look back later on. Leaving and cleaving can be both the most wonderful of times in a girl’s life, and also one of the most difficult. I am so thrilled for you and Merritt, Gretchen, but I do know well the feelings you described. Sometimes, being the one who is leaving can leave you feeling so mixed up… overflowing with love for your husband-to-be and excitement one moment, and then a twinge or two of sadness at the thought of leaving your family the next. So… bittersweet. 🙂

  10. thanks for at long last putting a pick of you and your man (or should i say merrit?)…may God bless you in your new family.

  11. I have to say I’m a little jealous of the rolling farmlands 😉
    But home is indeed where the heart is, and where the Lord is.
    God bless you both!

  12. That was a beautiful post. Thank you for finally posting a picture too! I look forward to reading your courtship story, after years of your tirelessly and cheerfully putting up the lovely stories of others. Congratulations, and blessings for a beautiful (and fruitful!) future with Merritt.

    Your website has been such a blessing and inspiration to me, since I stumbled upon it a couple of years ago. You have done fantastic work on it and I’m sure that you have enlightened and uplifted many, many young ladies. You are an exemplary woman of God, Gretchen. I’m sure that you, like all of us, have stumbled at times, but you have shown us how to keep picking yourself up and moving forward instead of stayed fixed in that same spot feeling sorry for yourself.

    Thank you so much – and do keep us all posted.

    Naomi Maria, 21, London (England)