Mommy Dayze

mommy 01 IMG_2821-1Whether it was walking around at the county fair Saturday night, the extra dark Lindt chocolate (85% cocoa) my husband bought me after the fair, or all the red raspberry leaf and pregnancy tea I’d been drinking the past six months, we got to hold our second daughter almost two weeks before her due date. Mary Kate was due September 11, but born August 30, 2009—in pite all the August and September birthdays in the family, she got to have her very own birthday! (And coincidentally, Ruth Ann was due December 7, but born the day before Thanksgiving, November 21, 2007.)

Having been induced for toxemia symptoms a little over two weeks before Ruth’s due date, I wasn’t sure what to expect, waiting for labor to start on its own. But it all went relatively quickly and smoothly (just not easily, as my husband was kind to clarify!), and earlier than expected. After a month of random, mild contractions, I awoke at 2 o’clock Sunday morning, with steadily intensifying contractions that came every five minutes (and it is impossible to sleep in those intervening minutes!). mommy 02 IMG_5680 I waited until I’d watched the sunrise from our hammock outside (unfortunately not as relaxing as it sounds, when one is in labor!) before awakening my husband and calling my parents. They obviously started praying (again—I’d had false labor the previous Monday) that the baby wouldn’t arrive before they did, because labor slowed to a near standstill until the middle of the afternoon. Contractions came back in full force just about the time my family had finally been able to hit the road (I’m not sure how much of that was psychological and how much was supernatural!), and we were only at the hospital an hour and a half before Mary Kate was born at 7:43 p.m. My parents and younger sister and brother were there to hold her by the time she was just a few hours old. And when they brought Ruth Ann in the next morning, we had one very excited (though slightly overwhelmed) big sister!

mommy 04 IMG_2639Before we even got home from the hospital, my dad was breaking ground for our remodel project. Our little home now has more than one room! We are in the process of adding on two bedrooms—a project which Ruth has been incredibly excited about. Not only is she Chief Inspector, she’s her daddy’s biggest incentive to get it done: if he tells her he’s going to work on the wall when he gets home from work, she’s over peering at the wall an hour before he arrives, and takes him to it immediately upon his arrival. When they took off some of the siding to cut into the wall, I smiled at the sight which met my eyes: our house is still pink underneath! I told Merritt we might have to paint the house blue if we want any boys.

But oh how we love our girls. Sometimes I still feel rather in a daze—I’m the mommy of two little girls? Other times, it feels like I’ve been a mommy all my days. And every second of the day and night it’s Mommyness that occupies my time. Even when I sit down to blog in a few spare quiet moments, it’s about my girls I’m writing! But the most special hours of the day for us girls is when the most important person in this house comes home: the girls’ Daddy. It’s rare that Merritt and I can even hug each other without someone hugging our knees, but it’s a special, special season in life, and we wouldn’t trade it for anything.

mommy 05 IMG_5739We were delighted to have my family visiting for two weeks—during which time my dad was an amazing help on our remodel project, and my mom and sister did everything else around here! I’d been far from having all the baby things out and ready. But my mom has the gift of organization and soon had not only Mary’s clothes clean and organized, but Ruth’s clothes and toys as well! When my family left I had to remind myself that laundry doesn’t automatically wash itself, nor do meals usually just appear on the table, or dishes land in the dish drainer sparkling clean by themselves. But we miss them for more than just their help! It’s so neat to watch my parents as grandparents—they’re awfully proud. My 14-year-old sister Jessica just adores her nieces, and my 11-year-old brother will even wash his hands and put on a clean shirt to hold his new niece (Ruth is now attempting to whistle, too, thanks to Caleb’s influence). My big little brother Will is quite anxious to meet his new niece, as well—he’s going to have quite the collection of nieces when he gains three more (including twins two weeks older than Mary) by marriage come December. And of course, Merritt’s family is so glad to have another little person close-by—especially since, with all the John Deere attire our girls own, they are sure to learn to drive the tractor just like their Daddy does.

mommy 06 IMG_5783It’s been precious to watch Ruth with her sister. After a few days of the initial adjustments—including lots of hand motions where Ruth showed us she understood that the baby that was in Mommy’s tummy was now little sister Mary—she’s been the epitome of helpfulness and a doting big sister. It’s her job to get out a wipe every time I change Mary’s diaper (and I think it should be her job to potty train her sister, too, since she has been so accomplished in that area!). I frequently find her with her toy pink cell phone “taking pictures” of her sister sleeping in her cradle. And whenever Ruth climbs up on the couch and pats her lap, it’s a sure sign that the proud big sister’s arms are waiting to hold little sister again.

Mary Kate is the picture of her big sister Ruth Ann—and yet her own unique little person. We named Mary for two of her great grandmothers, Mary Louise and Mary Elizabeth. (And though I can’t replicate the lilting Irish, whenever I say her name, in my mind it sounds just like they say “Mary Kate Danaher” in “The Quiet Man.”) While Ruth was born with dark hair and eyes, Mary was a redhead from the start, with lighter blue eyes–and not quite so laid back as big sister. We think Mary will take more after my coloring, while Ruth obviously has her daddy’s complexion (and smile).

Seeing how they look so alike and yet so different, it reminds me of how even though we have two girls, we don’t want to raise Mary to be a carbon copy of her big sister (as proud as we are of Ruth), nor of us her parents: we want each of them to grow up to be individual young women who love and serve the Lord. And what a sobering task! It helped me to re-read my posts about our goals and plans in raising Ruth, giving me hope on those first few sleepless nights, reminding me of things I wished I’d focused on more (like practicing sitting still for church), or of things I’d do differently (like teaching more sign language earlier, since so far Ruth has a repertoire of only a few words, despite understanding every word we say!).

mommy 07 IMG_2739But sitting here looking at my two girls, one just a month old, the other almost two years old, I am overwhelmed at the blessing and the responsibility God has given us. Sometimes, when both are crying, toys are strewn all over the floor, dinner is far from ready, and their daddy is due home any minute, I wonder how I’ll ever get the hang of managing it all—and training them meanwhile (as I catch myself telling my daughter to wait, while using a very impatient voice myself)! I remember Ashleigh telling me once, “there will come times when I Need Thee Every Hour’ is your mommy-heart’s constant prayer”—though at that point of the day I’m thinking that it could also have something to do with needing more hours in my day, or maybe my night! But a glance at the poem my cousin Jennifer cross-stitched for me puts it all into perspective:

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow,
For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

I may be exhausted, overwhelmed, and have more to do than I have hours in my day and free hands to do it with, but when I’m being a mommy, time is of the essence, for what I’m doing has eternal significance.

If you were to come visit our home these days, chances are you’d see dust from our remodel settled on all the flat surfaces—but in the dust, you’d see little handprints. My laundry might not all be folded—there’s no way it all gets done on Mondays any more (there are at least two loads every other day, if not every day!). Hopefully the dishes would be done, though, because that is something that makes my husband feel cared for (so does having the house dusted and laundry done—but clean dishes are on the top of his list). My daughters might not be perfectly behaved while you were visiting our little home, but hopefully you’d see that they are learning and loved.

On the Sunday a week after Mary’s birth, the opening song at our church was “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”—a hymn which has in many ways become the theme for our lives, and was sung at our wedding. And upon seeing our little Mary Kate arrive for her first Sunday at church, the pianist changed the closing song to “Because He Lives”. My cheeks were wet with tears by the time we were through the verse about “how sweet to hold a newborn baby”. Two of my favorite hymns blended together to remind me of all that was true about life and parenting: it is because of God’s great faithfulness that these precious daughters of mine can face the uncertain days ahead. But in between, in these days of motherhood, Lord I need Thee every hour…

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17 Comments

  1. Congratulations on the arrival of Mary! So glad that all went well and that you’re feeling blessed. 馃檪 Thanks for posting all of the pictures!! Ruth has grown so much since I last saw pictures of her. Very cute. 馃檪

  2. What a sweet, sweet post. I enjoyed reading your view, as I’m finding my heart drawn more and more toward the desire to have my little ones closer in age. I appreciate your honesty, and attitude. It can be done, and joyfully so because they’re such precious gifts that grow so fast.

  3. That was so sweet to read, to see your sweet girls faces and how you’ve been blessed! Thank you also for sharing the link to your cousin’s story, so we can lift them up in prayer!

  4. Gretchen,
    I am so glad you posted this! I had been wondering how life was going for you since your new little one was born. I enjoyed reading about what has been happening with you. May God bless you and yours,
    K

  5. You and Merritt have such a sweet family, Gretchen, and I know it is your love and devotion to the Lord that make it so. What a blessing that little Mary Kate was born safe and healthy. I will certainly pray for your cousin’s family. I know a friend of a friend’s family whose little girl was born about a week ago without part of her skull… miraculously, she is still alive when the doctors said she would never live through birth! Her family are Christians and want the Lord’s will in all this.

    Whether or not our children are born healthy, as we consider health, either way it still proves the glory of God.

    God bless and congratulations, Gretchen

  6. Your beautiful mommy-love posts helps to satiate my own baby desires! Thanks, Gretchen! 馃檪 It reminds me of a childhood song based on Isaiah 40:1: “He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.”

  7. It is so sweet to see how God is blessing your little family! Thank you for sharing with us. I also second Michelle’s comment – I hope it’s possible to come back to these writings for encouragement and advice when I am in a similar season!

  8. Gretchen,
    Just wait till you have three little ones… 馃檪 So Glad all went well. I’ve been praying you would be well this time around, and will pray for your cousin’s family. I tried to read the story, but the link doesn’t seem to work.
    Blessings,
    Ruth Wiechmann

  9. your little girls are so cute! Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope ylcf’s archives stay online for many years so as I go through each of these seasons I’ll be able to come back for advice! 馃檪 God blesss!