“I need say nothing of household economy, in which the mothers of our country are generally skilled, and generally careful to instruct their daughters.
We all know its value, and that diligence and dexterity in all its processes are inestimable treasures.
The order and economy of a house are as honorable to the mistress as those of the farm to the master, and if either be neglected, ruin follows, and children destitute of the means of living.”
–Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to Nathaniel Burwell, March 14, 1818

I found a book Lanier would like. I think a lot of you farm girls (and farm girls at heart) would like it too. It just comes with a disclaimer.

Merritt and I have spent hours pouring over the photos and ideas in MaryJane’s Ideabook, Cookbook, Lifebook: For the Farmgirl at Heart. He said, “You probably can’t recommend a book like this on your website, though, can you?” But I told him that was the beauty of disclaimers. Because really, what book can we recommend without one? Every book excepting the Bible has been written by a fallen human being. Not that any book is okay to recommend–but one should not have to agree with every sentence to suggest that someone else read a book.

This book is written by a feminist Mormon, who is as close to being an environmentalist as a deer hunter and reformed vegetarian can be. She talks a lot about the Mormon clan she grew up in, but that part is no different than if I always referenced growing up in a Baptist church. It comes through more in her brief references to toasts to goddesses, and her major emphasis on female entreprenuerism. I’m all for girls finding a way to earn something extra for the family–that’s what “egg money” was all about 100 years ago.

But one should not just “include” the husband one is married to–he is the head of the household, and shouldn’t be shoved out of the way for any venture of the wife’s, whether it’s selling soap at farmer’s market or planting a garden. Maybe he can’t be an active part of your project, but he better be behind it, or you’re destined for failure before you start. If you read the book remembering that every farmgirl’s first priority is to her God and her man, knowing it is more important to be one with the God of creation than the creation itself, then you’ll have the right lens through which to filter what’s said between the lines.

That being said, look for MaryJane Butters’ book at your library (or snatch up a copy if you find it at a bargain). It’s filled with recipes for sourdough bread, one-skillet meals, and lots of chilled gelatin recipes I know my husband would enjoy. There are chapters on everything from gardening and weeds to laundry and sewing (with an explanation of more stitches than I ever knew existed). She tells you how to dry fruit and grind hamburger. There’s even a section on how to play all the old-fashioned games you read about in books like Little House on the Prairie.

It’s everything your mother would have taught you–if you’d been born a couple hundred years ago. When we stopped passing the baton of thrifty, grow-your-own or make-it-from-scratch home-making from generation to generation, I don’t know. Maybe it had something to do with the advent of modern “conveniences”. Maybe it came when women started working outside the home. Whenever it happened, it was a great tragedy. Let’s re-learn the old-fashioned ways of making and keeping a home, and pass them on to our daughters, shall we?