Sunday, September 05, 2010

Dear littlest one,

On Wednesday I found out for sure that you were growing within me. Apparently the test the previous week had been a false negative, and my rising temperatures were telling the most accurate story after all. When I awoke with yet another high temp, I decided to take another test. And this time, there were two pink lines.

That fierce, protective mother-love that God has given to mommies is already there. But at the same time, your mommy is feeling a lot of fear. And learning to trust in our Jehovah-Jireh, the God Who provides.

I know some of the fears have to do with the fact that I’ve been hearing little Audrey Caroline’s story over and again on the radio in the past few months. And that I’m reading the blog of little Gabriel James’ mommy. And that it’s the anniversary of little Maria Chapman’s move to Heaven. But I think I’m having to trust our Lord even more with you than I have with your big sisters.

Speaking of your big sisters, this past week Ruth Ann has taken to asking me constantly if Mary Kate is my baby. “Is that your baby?” “Is Mary your baby?” “Are you feeding your baby?” And I laugh. Because she has no idea. And yet, all of a sudden, she’s talking about babies again. Probably part of it is prompted by how your daddy has been saying that Mary must have realized she turned 1 this week—she’s acting like a toddler, not a baby anymore, he’s wont to say.

And it’s a good thing she’s growing up—because she’s going to be a big sister. To you, my newest little one!

And just in case you ever wondered, Mommy and Daddy will always have room in their hearts to love another little person. Our love is not divided between you—it truly multiplies.

I love you. So much.

With love,
your mommy