Dear Children of Mine,

For your future entertainment, I continue to collect and compile some of the funny and random things you say and do.  Some quotes are from Facebook, some memories are jotted down here as I remember them.  My oh my, you come up with some creative uses of the English language!

Two compliments Ruth paid to Mommy this summer:
“You are the kindest person I know.”
“You look like Cinderella with your long hair.”

Around the table with my brother-in-law’s family, someone explains to a guest, “We have some inside jokes, if you hadn’t noticed.”
Ruth Ann pipes up: “We have outside jokes too!”

Mary of my request that she get her brother a cup:
“He doesn’t need a cup.  He can drink out of your tummy!”

July 1
While eating hard boiled eggs at lunch, Mary Kate decided that the egg white was “the frosting of the egg”.

July 2
Almost 3-year-old Mary’s daily question: “Is my hair long down to my toes yet?”

‎”Mommy, where do giants live?”
“Well, there aren’t really any giants any more these days. Uncle Will is taller than Daddy, but that doesn’t mean he’s a giant.”
“Well, Aunt Natalie is not tall like Uncle Will, so she’s not a giant.”
“That’s true, she’s not a giant.”
I know Aunt Natalie will be so glad to know Ruth has concluded she’s not a giant!

July 5
‎”I don’t like them. They’re so pretty.” Oh the contradictions we heard while sitting in the car with Mary, radio cranked loud so she couldn’t hear the fireworks. “I don’t like the little ones. I like the big ones best.”

And Ru? She was showing her creative diction: “They are like splashes of color in the sky!” Of course, they were also, “Princess Fireworks!””

July 28
‎”Oh, chubby cheeks, don’t you cry for me…”
almost-3-year-old Mary Kate’s newest song, sung to her brother, to the tune of “Oh, Susanna””

August 4
A moment with Daniel: Daniel likes Pat the Bunny. Like, he likes Pat the Bunny so much that he nearly throws a fit if you try to read him any other book. And we have to read Pat the Bunny at least half a dozen times before we can even think about going to bed. Thankfully, I found a couple other board book versions of Pat the Bunny in his book basket, and even though the stories are different, they seem to be allowable because they have Pat the Bunny. I do believe we’ve created a reading monster…er, bunny.

August 21
Mommy posted to Facebook: “Merritt, if you’re looking for your wallet, it was last seen in a lidded saucepan in the cupboard with the rest of the pots and pans. Your driver’s license, on the other hand, was on the kitchen floor along with numerous other cards and business cards. At least our son left the money inside. I think.”

August 24
‎Mary: “Can you please turn on the oven, Mommy?”
Mommy: “I did. Your French toast is cooking.”
Mary: “But I don’t hear some smoke yet!”

August 27
My children didn’t want to eat the watermelon last night, “Because it makes you sick.” It took their daddy a long time to convince them that Pa in Little House was confused: the watermelon didn’t give them fever and ague, it was the mosquitoes where the watermelons grew.

August 28
‎”The Fruit of the Spirit dries up the bones…” Each time Mary listens to the “Hide ‘Em In Your Heart” songs she gets some of the verses mixed.

Of course, worse than mixing the lyrics is the fact that Daniel washed a Steve Green cassette tape in the toilet bowl. (And no, I did not try to save it!)

August 30
Ruth: “Daddy, I learned how to tie my apron in the back today!”
Daddy: “Oh wow, you’re really smart!”
Ruth: “Cinderella wasn’t smart. She had the birds to tie her apron for her.””

September 5
Mary’s latest song: ‎”Wiggle, wiggle, all the time. We gotta wiggle, wiggle, all the time!”

September 17
I was greeted this morning by this question from Mary: “Mommy, can I have candy for breakfast?”
A few minutes later: “Mommy, I want to keep my candy in my room, down by my bed.”

September 22
“We’s gonna make you good medicine. We’s gonna give you lots and lots of coffee until you’s all better,” said Mary Kate to Momma when Momma was sick on her birthday.

September 27
Cooking Cornish game chickens for dinner. My daughters are fascinated that we’re going to eat a chicken that was playing games.

September 21
After constant questions about what store we were going to next included “Best Buy”, Mary asked, “When are we going to ‘Good Buy’?”

All are original quotes and real happenings.  But I promise not to use them against you in the future.

Lots of love,
Your mommy