When we got home from Town the other night, my husband Merritt was putting away all the groceries we’d bought to stock our cupboards for the summer months.  In the process, he found a bag of Easter M&M’s we’d bought on sale last year after Easter.  And here we’d just been anticipating buying more candy on sale!

M&M’s make me think of many happy things—not the least of which is the fact that we served them at our wedding reception, because they were my favorite candy and sported my husband’s first initial (or are they my favorite candy because they have his initial?)!

This morning, however, I was reflecting on another more distant memory that M&M’s brought back: that of savoring my food, instead of gobbling it down.  Letting one M&M melt on my tongue, instead of swallowing them handful by handful.

This is not the first time in my life I’ve weighed more than I wanted to.  Somewhere around the time I became a teenager, my skinny waist disappeared, leaving growing hips in its place.  I traded in jeans for jumpers, indoor cooking for outdoor exercise.  And through it all, I fed the varying and tumultuous emotions of my teen years with food.

Then I read a book.  I don’t remember where I found it.  But I obviously have a penchant for learning important life lessons from very controversial books.

The book was The Weigh Down Diet by Gwen Shamblin.

Yes, now I know that there are many questions about the theology and other things behind her books and weight loss program.

But I wasn’t reading it for the theology.

I was reading it for some help with the weight that only grew the more depressed I became about it.

And where do you think that theologically questionable book sent me?

Straight to Jesus.

The lessons I learned about eating were simple:

1. Eat when you’re hungry (stomach-growling hunger), stop when you’re full.
2. Eat slowly, savoring every bite (the M&M principle), so that you won’t eat past fullness.
3. God created all kinds of food for us to enjoy.  If you’re craving salt, your body probably needs salt.  Don’t focus so much on the food you’re eating or not eating that the food becomes an idol.

But the lessons I learned about not eating were even more powerful:

1. When I’m ready to head for the cupboard, is it my stomach that is hungry or my heart that needs filling?
2. Will food satisfy this craving?  Or would my time be better spent pouring over God’s Word than drowning myself in chocolate?
3. Am I thinking more about food or more about my Savior?

I lost more than 20 pounds that summer.  But what I gained was more important than what I lost.  The joy I had in relying on Jesus instead of food was life-changing for the almost-16-year-old I was.

Somewhere in the last 11 years, I have un-learned those simple lessons. I have gravitated back to grabbing a handful of chocolate chips to help myself through a stressful moment.  I’ve returned to emotional eating instead of hungry eating.

Not that I haven’t asked my Lord for help in those situations, too.

But too often, it was chocolate chips—and then Jesus.

As if the God Who created the world needed help from chocolate chips to get me through the day.

This week, I have purposed to return to fellowshipping with my Savior instead of feasting on chocolate.

Because even though I saw a higher number than I wanted to when I stepped on the scale this week, even though I have not made the time to exercise like I could have, my Jesus loves me.  No matter what I weigh or how much I exercise.

I don’t plan to stop eating chocolate.

I do pray for the strength to stop choosing chocolate over Jesus.

That bowl of sugar-coated candy sitting next to my glass of cool, clear water reminds me that the satisfaction I’ll find anywhere else (even in exercise or a smaller jean size) is counterfeit compared to the life-giving water of His Word.

The Easter M&M’s in the dish on my table have a new meaning for me this Holy Week.  They are reminding me to look first to the Man on the Cross—not to the food in the cupboard.

Is there something in your kitchen that provides a visual reminder of your journey to Losing It?  Has there been a book that’s provided encouragement for the right focus in weight loss?  How are you making the choice to focus more on Christ and His resurrection in the midst of this candy-filled weekend?