Thankful Tears…

I don’t know how many people stopped me in the church hallway today to ask, “Are you excited?” “How many days?” “How are the wedding plans coming?”I answered with an excited smile, “Yes, I’m very excited! Just 4 weeks, 6 days! And everything is going along so well.”

It must been Wilma, our prayer warrior confined to a chair with four wheels, who struck the nerve. “You’re going to be a farmer’s wife, right? I was just telling someone the other day how you and I are good friends, and how you were getting married and moving away. You’ll have to write me once in a while. We’ll miss you.”

I’ll miss them, too.

I’ve grown up with these people. I was born on Thursday the 22nd, and on Sunday the 25th, Daddy and Mommy carried me to church, where I was welcomed with a pink rose, pink balloons, and a pink bulletin insert announcing my arrival. Many of the faces that crowded around me in pictures that day are no longer here. They’ve gone on home to glory. But many are left, with a few more smile lines in their faces, and lots of stories to tell about when they used to babysit my daddy.

As we sang those good old hymns in church today, I looked at the dear ones around me, and their faces blurred through my tears.

Marge, Oleta, and Bea were missing from their pews. Each has lost her husband since the first of the year. Each was one of the sweet little old men I loved so much. And I know it might not be long before their dear wives join them on the other side of the Jordan. It seems like it’s almost been a race lately, to see who can make it to Heaven first. And I know when I come back to visit, there will be more empty spots on the pews.

I’ve grown up going to my mom’s parents, visiting the same church my mom was saved in. The same dear people who watched her grow up, watched me grow up from visit to visit. Some of them are even making the long drive just to come to my wedding.

Now, it will be me coming back to my church, just like Mom has always gone back to hers. It’s sad to think of leaving, and my heart breaks at the thought of the faces who won’t be there to greet me when I return. But I look forward to someday, Lord willing, introducing my children to the people who knew me at their age, if they haven’t gone on to Glory yet.

I’ll take them up close to Marge, so she can see their little faces, even though she’s legally blind. I’ll tell my children how she talked about her husband Ed with such love. How he would carefully hold her arm and guide her through church each Sunday, and how often I would look over during the sermon to see them holding hands.

I’ll introduce them to Bea, who shared 62 years of marriage with her husband Everett. I’ll tell them how I learned at his funeral that he and Bea read the Bible together every morning. That image has never left me.

I’ll point out Oleta, who was married at 14, and had 64 years of marriage with Jake, the love of her life. I’ll tell my wide-eyed 14-year-old daughter that Jake and Oleta’s 65th wedding anniversary would have been just five days after her daddy and I got married. But Jake went home to Heaven the month before.

Then my children will understand where I learned about love. How I saw commitment lived out in the lives of my family and my church family. Then they will know why their mommy still talks about the little old men from her church, and their wives who loved them so much.

The tears I cried today were not sad tears. I couldn’t be happier or more excited about marrying the man I love, and starting our own home. I look forward to finding our own little church for our children to grow up in. I’m praying it’s filled with little old people who will stop them, take their hand, and tell them, like Earl tells me so often, that marriage takes commitment. But I look forward to taking them back to the little church I grew up in. And letting them learn the heritage their mommy grew up with.

For not only do I have a family who loves and follows the Lord, godly grandparents, Christian aunts and uncles–but I have an extended family in my church family. Along with my relatives, my church family taught me the importance of love, commitment, forgiveness, and that good old time religion. And for that blessed heritage of our little Baptist church I cried many thankful tears today…

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12 Comments

  1. I have already left my “home” at my church. I miss all the widows who watched me grow up, and wonder what they would think of me now. Even though I’m not married yet, I have moved to another place, to start afresh. It is the hardest thing in the world for me. I just want things to be the same as they always were. Especially since I now attend a BIG church, and I miss my old church where we were all like family. Thank you Gretchen for wanting to continue that legacy for your children. Many people never go back, and they lose so much of who they are. I want my children to grow up hearing all about the past, and seeing people I talked about. I hope I never forget the things that became such a part of my heart at my old church. But I also want to be contented here, in a new strange place. =) Again, thank you so much for that perspective that is so near to my heart.

    Bekah
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  2. Wow! That made me cry. What a blessed heritage you have! PTL! I am grateful to be a second generation Christian, but how neat it is to have godly parents AND grandparents and to be preparing to start your own family. Thanks for sharing your heart; it touched mine.
    Tabitha

  3. Hello Gretchen!
    I am a new reader, and by reading up on all the past articles, I now feel like I know you!
    This is a very touching post, esp. since my family is looking for a church right now. It is such a hard, and sometimes long, process. How I yearn to have a little ol’ country church like yours! Of course, I know I’ll have several years to get to know people in my church before I get married (I’m only 16), but there is that
    certain bond you have growing up in a church. You are surely blessed!
    Julie

  4. What a sweet and darling post! Leaving home must be bittersweet, but I am reminded of how God promises blessings!

  5. What a sweet and darling post! Leaving home must be bittersweet, but I am reminded of how God promises blessings!

  6. What a sweet and darling post! Leaving home must be bittersweet, but I am reminded of how God promises blessings!

  7. How sweet, Gretchen. It kind of reminds me of my old church(actually one of many old churches:))that was small and everybody knew everybody. We don’t go there anymore due certain circumstances that took place there. However, I love the church that we’ve been attending for about 2 years now. (Whew! Seems like it’s been longer than that!) I never want to miss a service, and I don’t ever want to leave there.:)

    Isn’t it so special to have such a close church family!?

    ~Allison

  8. Yes, I will be getting married at my home church. 馃檪 We built a new building in the early 90’s, but it’s still the same church family… 馃檪

  9. I am almost jealous of your little church experience and your family being Christians.

    Woe to me is my lot in life. 馃檪