she

She’s there behind me, every time I look in the mirror. Comparing her reflection to mine. She shakes her head, that one with the perfect complexion. That size 0 waist mocks me.

I hear her disapproving voice inside my head every time I try to pull on a pair of jeans. The ones that won’t quite button. The ones that don’t cover my bulges.

She laughs as I dig through my dresser drawers, looking for something, anything that will make me feel pretty today. She taunts me from my closet where I pull clothes from hangers and pull them over my head only to toss them on my bed in despair.

I know she lies. But her voice is so loud.

 

She’s there outside my bedroom door, waiting. I walk out with trepidation. Hoping she won’t notice my red-rimmed eyes.

“Momma, you look so beautiful!” she exclaims with delight.

She follows me back to the bathroom mirror. I would so much rather be alone, but she hangs about. Begging for a bit of makeup on her little cheeks.

“Mommy, will you do that to my hair, too?” She pats my dress. She thinks it is lovely.

I know she loves me. But love is blind.

 

And at the end of the day, which voice is loudest? Which one echoes in my ears as I fall asleep? And which one greets me with my first glance in the mirror?

The voice I listen to. 

Five Minute Friday Prompt: “She”

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18 Comments

  1. oh how this resonates friend. its hard to listen to the truth when my eyes can’t see it, but rather see all the ways i’m failing and not measuring up. thank you for sharing this from your heart today. gathered from FMF to read this post

  2. That is amazing… and yes we listen to the wrong voices. The precious one who stands beside you is far more important than that nagging voice inside your head. Listen to the simple beauty “momma you look so beautiful… then in turn you tell her she is beautiful too.”

  3. Holy crap, you just gave me goosebumps. And tears. I just cried on my goosebumps. I sooo needed to read that today. The voice I listen to makes all the difference. Happy FMF, friend!

  4. Oh wow. This brought a tear to my eye. “She” likes to follow all of us around. I’m glad that God gives us other voices that speak more truth than the ones inside our heads. <3

  5. I really like your take on this prompt. We do all tend to have this pesky voice in our head. She’s worse than pesky though. I found myself realizing that as much as I hate her, she hates me. May we cease listening to her lies! Thanks for a great piece.