Worth the Fight

Kayse Pratt has a talent for distilling a lot of information into a short and easy to read eBook. Her eBook Undivided Mom was a refreshing breath of fresh air, and now she’s done it again with Worth the Fight. In Kayse’s inimitable easy going style, she shares honestly about her own “high maintenance” marriage as she encourages others in theirs.

Worth the Fight: Lessons Learned in a High Maintenance Marriage (a review of @KaysePratt's eBook by @GretLouise)In Worth the Fight: Lessons Learned in a High Maintenance MarriageKayse discusses five essential elements to every marriage: Commitment, Communication, Service, Laughter, and Sex. The explanation of “reflective listening” alone is more than worth the price of the book. But Kayse and her husband are parents of two little children. They understand the challenges that married couples face when it comes to communication and time together:

We realized “good communication” was not exactly the same thing as “talking a lot.”

Kayse’s eBook isn’t prescriptive, it simply affirms the truth and encourages you to live like you believe it. Without being confrontational, Kayse gets right to the root of some of the issues marriages face. I so appreciate her perspective on the way we speak of our husbands!

When we speak about our husbands in a negative way to others, we perpetuate a feeling of discontent in ourselves. We let ugliness tumble out of our mouths and make it’s home in our hearts.

Worth the Fight is worth the price for a quick shot in the arm for your marriage. Whether you read it alone in one sitting during naptime (that was me!) or out loud with your husband whenever you both get a chance to sit down together (and how often is that?), you’ll be blessed by Worth the Fight.

Get the eBook now!

Use the code worththefight20 to get 20% off today (February 3) only!

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this eBook in exchange for an honest review.

the new and the ordinary

Her ring sparkled as they walked in. He was tall, with a bearing and a haircut that spoke of service to our country. But they were decked out in the official “country” garb around here: Carhartt jeans and Cabelas hoodies. Everything about them was new, even to the relationship, it seemed.

“Do you like Honeycrisp apples?” she was asking him, as they discussed food likes and dislikes in a way that betrayed the few autumns they’d been together.

I looked away discreetly as they kissed in the middle of our store. And I smiled. It seems like only yesterday, the delight of discovering all the ordinary details of day to day likes and dislikes. Yes, of course, she got the sweet onions, “sweet just like you,” she announced for all to hear.

I’ve been cooking for my husband so long that I know his food preferences almost as well as I know my own. But there are still the days we discover a new shared taste for some random food, or discover yet another vast difference between us (we’re proof that you can be happily married even if one of you loves tomatoes and onions and the other doesn’t).

We can finish each other’s sentences and order dinner for the other person. I can tell when he’s hungry and he usually can read my mind better than I can read it myself. He knows my faults so well he lovingly adapts to compensate for them. We laugh because I squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle and he rolls it up carefully with a clip. Yes, we could use separate tubes of toothpaste, but he takes care of my toothpaste just like I take care of his laundry.

After seventeen years of friendship, seven of those as man and wife, there’s a lot more ordinary than new to our relationship. Yet neither do we know anything of the endurance and commitment required for the sixty-plus years of marriage our grandparents are celebrating.

But we’re learning the rewards of cherishing the ordinary even when the newness of discovery is past. Because the more familiar the ordinary, the more precious it can become. And the more we know of each other, the more we realize we want to learn.

Five Minute Friday Prompt: “Ordinary”

rhythm

We fell in love to the rhythm of Country music. The cassettes and CDs we mixed for each other became the soundtrack for those years. The songs we listened to reflecting the ups and downs, the excitement and the tears.

“Don’t Take the Girl” was the first Country song he played me, the summer of 2001. It went on the cassette tape he made for me that began with “Good Morning Beautiful”.  I played it every morning.

While I was at Summit in the summer of 2002 that penpal of mine sent me a list of songs he wanted me to try to find and download to make a CD (he didn’t have the internet). He titled it “Where I’m At” and it began with “What a Beautiful Mess”. Each song on the CD is an epic representation of that time in our friendship: “She’s More”, “She Was”, “She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful”, “My Heart is Lost to You”, and “Wrapped Around” were just a few of my favorites.

Then came the years of “So Complicated” and “I’m Already Taken”. “Emotional Girl” and “She’s in Love with the Boy” were my theme songs; “What Was I Thinkin’” and “I Should Be Sleeping” could have been his. All I wanted was that “John Doe on a John Deere” to say “I Can Love You Like That”. I waited not-so-patiently for him to “Check Yes or No”, to say “Me Too”. “Don’t That Make You Want to Fall in Love?”

But our love was “Sinkin In”. Even though “Is It Raining At Your House?” was the way I often felt. (We still play that CD full of “Songs About Rain” on rainy nights, or the days when we’re praying for rain.)

He told me to listen to “I Volunteer” and I knew he was saying “I’ll be the Last One Standing”. But I knew that “If Tomorrow Never Comes”, “In This Life I Was Loved By You”.

And then, “Thanks to the Keeper of the Stars”, we went from “Not a Day Goes By” to “One Day Closer to You”. He must have been “Doin’ Something Right” when he sang “She Thinks She Needs Me” and “You Can’t Hide Beautiful”. Because we were singing “Passenger Seat” and “Next to You, Next to Me”, “Fishin’ in the Dark”.

And when “The Maker Said Take Her” it was “So Help Me Girl” and “Only God Can Stop Me from Loving You”.

Whenever I listened to “In My Dreams, Your Dreams Come True” it was like hearing my man’s reassurance over and again: “Girl My Love For You Is True”. The mailbox was proof that we were singing “Write This Down”, and I never went anywhere without “Carrying Your Love With Me”.

And by the time I was singing “He’s Mine” and “Valentine”, we were looking forward to merging our CD collection, “Me and You”, “Forever and For Always”. And “When I Said I Do”, “She Thinks My Tractor’s…” found its way into our wedding prelude along with “From This Moment On”.

Even though he might not have introduced me to Country music until just five years before we got married, he “Had Me From Hello”. Because when we met that day was when “Heaven Sent Me You”. And now? We’re “Soulmates”, “Two of a Kind Working on a Full House.”

{Five-Minute Friday prompt on a Tuesday: “rhythm”}

Of Vick’s and Valentine’s

We bought it on our honeymoon.  The receipt is still in the back of our photo album, along with the rest of our maps and brochures and receipts chronicling that week.  (And we think gas is expensive now!)

We found it at the Mammoth Hot Springs General Store.  Little did we know my sister-in-law would be working in that very same store four years later. And little did we imagine that little jar of Vick’s vapor rub would last us almost seven years.

We threw it away last week, after we’d scraped and rubbed the last of its contents out. The expiration date was the same year as our wedding, proving it had waited a long time for some traveler with a chest cold to need it. 

But despite its age, that Vick’s still had plenty of strong vapors when we dug it out of the cupboard once again last week to ease the breathing of our two youngest.

I’d had such a cold that I didn’t even have a voice two weeks before our wedding. But God had given me yet another miracle on my wedding day by allowing me to enjoy it unhindered by that cold bug.  But I could only run on adrenaline and realized dreams so long.  Because no amount of the salsa we shared in our first meal as man and wife could chase away the relapse I had in those early days of our honeymoon.

My new hubby and I laughed as we remembered that visit when we’d both had such dreadful colds and red noses. And that other visit when every other person in our families got a cold but the two of us.  We were fairly sure all the laughter we shared together generated lots of antibodies.  But then, staying up late talking often seemed to have the opposite effect on our health!

In sickness and in health.  Buying Vick’s vapor rub on our honeymoon and changing dressing on a broken leg two months after we were married. Finishing our new home side by side and birthing three children together. Rubbing Vick’s on our little ones in the wee hours of the night and rejoicing that we didn’t both have the cold at the same time this time. Quiet moments stolen together after the children are finally asleep and listening to audio books together when we’re too tired to read aloud.

For better or for worse. On the Valentine’s Days and the Vick’s days — and the days that include both.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love. Here’s to the last of the Vick’s for a while!

down the aisle

Dearest,

Ten years ago today, we walked down the aisle together for the first time.  I’ll never forget the way you looked at me, standing there across the stage at your sister’s wedding.  Thick as the emotions were, there was no way I could help that big smile from flooding my face as we walked out together.

Later your quiet, soft-spoken grandpa grabbed our arms, put them together and said, “We think you two make a really cute couple.”  At our mild protests, he just thought a minute and said, “Well, we’ll see.”

Tonight, we’re babysitting while your sister and her husband go out for their tenth anniversary. Their three kids and our three kids. What a lot can happen in ten years.  I guess Grandpa was right.  (I always thought he was. ;) )

Thanks for being the handsomest groomsman ever.  And for becoming my groom six years ago.

Love,
your redhead

 

July 13, 2002